Tag Archives: Rant

Travel Tip: Flying Internationally Is A Form of Slow Torture

In the past, the reason I didn’t enjoy flying is that I’m tall. Since I am 6’ 4” (1.9 meters) and I just don’t fit well in the seats and there is never enough legroom in economy seats. Now, that is still the case but the biggest reason I don’t like flying internationally is the other passengers, mostly the parents with small children. I hate to say this because I am a parent. They are older now, and now I have three young grandchildren.

In April of 2019, I took my longest trip ever! It was over 30K miles and at least 5 days of travel time. I traveled from the United States to the country of Mauritius, then to India and then back home.

The Trip Back Home = The Trip from Hell

So, let’s start off with the worse leg of the trip… the trip back home from Delhi, India to San Diego, California. Then afterward I will summarize the trip to Mauritius then to India. Since my trip to Mauritius and India was to date, the worse trip experience. I was excited that I was able to get a cheap upgrade to Business Class on Emirates from the leg from Delhi, India to Dubai. I was excited mostly since I don’t see many children in Business class (something I’ve never seen on other airlines). The flight was about 6 ½ hours so I figured I could get some sleep.

Delhi to Dubai

Once I got in my seat, I found out why this business class seat on Emeritus was cheaper… it’s was only about 2/3 the size of other business class seats I have taken before. I was still happy when I sat down and started getting ready for the flight… until a young couple got on with a baby and sat in the two seats next to me. I knew then the flight was not going to be good, based on past experiences on Emirates.

After they served dinner, I put my chair flat, put on my blanket and tried to go to sleep since it was early in the morning. I did go to sleep, but sure enough, whenever I was sleeping, the baby decided to wake up and cry. I wanted to get around 4 ½ hours of sleep (since I couldn’t sleep the night before due to having to be at the Delhi airport at 1am), but I was lucky to get 1 hour. This couple seemed to be on vacation… why do you take a baby on long an international flight for vacation?

Dubai to Seattle

The second flight, the worse from my entire trip, was from Dubai to Seattle, Washington in the US. I didn’t have business class for this flight (they wanted $3K just to upgrade when I asked them on the flight!) but I did pay more to have extended legroom. As soon as I sat down, the crying babies started to arrive. In my section of the cabin, there were a lot of them, so my mood started to get worse since I knew what was coming, especially since I heard them coughing or sniffling.

She Knew What She Was Doing!

I was on the right side of the plane on the aisle seat. In the first seat in the middle section, directly to my left, a young woman sat down with her daughter, who was a toddler who looked passed out, maybe sleeping. After a few minutes, she said something to the flight attendant about her daughter not feeling well. Maybe to get more help from him during the flight. He immediately got on the phone to the captain of the plane.

When he got off the phone, she immediately started to backtrack and asked if the airline was going to fine her (something I’ve never heard before), and her daughter was just tired. The flight attendant told her that now, someone must come onboard to check her daughter to make sure she is not sick, and he can’t stop it since he already told the captain. The woman kept telling the flight attendant that her daughter is just tired, and the flight attendant kept telling her that the flight is almost 16 hours and that is too much for a sick baby. I would say any flight is too much for anyone who is sick!

So, we waited and waited until it was well past the time we were supposed to take off. Finally, someone came onboard to take the temperature of her daughter. That person left, and we waited some more. Finally, the captain called and told the flight attendant that she would have to leave the plane. I am guessing that her daughter was running a fever.

She reluctantly left the plane. Then all the flight attendants went up and down the entire plane twice, asking about every bag in the overhead bins and who they belong to since your bags can’t fly without you. She did leave her phone, which they took back to her. Then, they had to find her bags from the cargo hold too!

Due to this, we were over an hour late taking off which I wasn’t happy about since I didn’t have a long layover in Seattle, and I had to get through customs before finding my next flight to San Diego. The pilot did makeup about 45 minutes of that lost hour, but things were still tight and stressful for me in Seattle. I didn’t even have time to eat before my next flight.

Who knows how many other kids or adults were running a fever on this flight, but she knew about this and she tried to get around the rules? This was very clear to me. I didn’t know if she was from Dubai, but if she wasn’t, she was going to be stuck there until her daughter stopped running a fever since I am guessing this is the rule for all airlines. Well, I hope it is. Maybe everyone should have their temperature checked before getting onto the plane? Especially since I did catch something on one of the flights that took me over two weeks to recover from.

Seattle To San Diego

Finally, back in the United States, I thought my short 3 ½ hour flight from Seattle to San Diego would be better. I just wanted one flight without issues or crying, screaming kids. Boy was I wrong! On Alaska Airlines, I was seated on the aisle seat on the left side of the plane. Then a woman got on with her two young sons that were around 5 and 6 years old. They sat one row up from me on the right side of the plane.

When they got seated, the older boy was pestering the younger boy, so of course, he started to complain and cry. At the same time, before we even took off, the mother put on her headphones to watch Crazy Rich Asians and therefore wasn’t paying attention to the younger boy.

So of course, the younger boy tried to get her attention by crying and screaming. Since she was engrossed in the movie, she did not pay attention to him which just made things worse. The older boy went to sleep for most of the flight, but the younger one NEVER stopped screaming and/or crying the entire flight!

Many other passengers were looking at her and him. Some of us, even more so, when her anger towards her younger boy bordered on child abuse. I kept looking around for the flight attendants to help him since his mother clearly couldn’t, but they were nowhere to be found. When we were landing and an older couple behind her was talking to her, I overheard she was a military wife. I told the woman next to me, who is a grandma traveling with her granddaughter, around the same age at those two boys, that she was so well behaved! She watched a Disney movie the entire time.

When I was waiting for my bags in San Diego, I was exhausted, upset and just wanted to get home to put this entire trip behind me. After this trip, and still now, I’m not sure if I ever want to fly internationally again! So much so, I might try to move the miles I earned on Emirates to Alaska Airlines (if they let me)! I’ll discuss that more after the next section.

The Reverse Trip

Like I said earlier, the trip coming back from Delhi, India was, hands down, the worse trip of my life. So, let’s talk quickly about my trip to those two countries. I don’t remember anything bad from my trip from San Diego to Seattle. So, let’s talk about the others.

Seattle To Dubai

Here we go again, another 16 hours on a plane. Two rows up from me was a that got on with their daughter who was a toddler. Almost immediately their daughter started to scream before we even took off. Since the flight left in the evening, after dinner, I planned to try to get some sleep in a normal economy seat. 16 hours is a long time to spend in a flying metal tube!

After dinner is when most people start settling down to sleep or watch movies, but not their daughter. Once things started quieting down, she was still screaming. After a while, she finally went to sleep. But, every thirty minutes or so she would wake up and start screaming again. So, it was impossible to get any sleep. I finally gave up and I went back to the galley at the very back of the plane. I spent about 1 ½ hours taking to the flight attendants (I might put this in a future blog post).

I finally went back to my seat, but the daughter was still doing her thing. I think, in the end, I might have gotten a total of one hour of sleep. When we landed, I was wiped out, cranky and sick (from the food Emeritus served)!

Dubai to Mauritius

This flight left over 45 minutes late due to a few people (I assume they were together) got all the way to their seats and then decided they didn’t want to take the flight. What? I’ve never heard of this before. Why go through all the time and security checks to get onto the flight and then not take it? So, just like in the case with the mother who brought her sick daughter on a flight, everything had to stop so the flight attendants could check all the overhead bins and remove their luggage from the cargo hold. I hope these people got fined too for holding up 300 other passengers!

Mauritius to Delhi

The two flights that it took to go from Mauritius to Delhi were full of similar issues with crying babies and rude passengers. On top of that, after I got seated on the flight from Dubai to Delhi, the flight attendant came and asked me if I would change my seat with a woman in the cabin section in front of the one I was in. He stated that she was in the same row as I was (extra legroom) and I could get an aisle seat. I was next to the window and being as tall as I am, that was not comfortable. I asked why she wanted to change to a worse seat and he just shrugged his shoulders. So, I said okay. Once I got to the new seat, I knew why she wanted to change… I got seated next to a couple with a baby. I guess she didn’t want to sit next to them, so I got stuck there.

Rude Passengers

Besides the parents that can’t get their kids to behave, the second biggest issue is a large number of rude passengers! I used to complain about the rudeness of American passengers, until this trip. Not anymore. International passengers are much worse!

On the same flight where the mother and daughter were removed from the flight, I paid more for a seat that had about 8 feet (2.45 meters) of legroom; but unfortunately, it was next to the galley.  For some reason, many passengers choose to stand in front of me as a sort of gathering place (which really irritates me). After dinner, I laid back to get some sleep. I was rudely awakened by a couple, standing in front of me, talking very loudly, and I was wearing noise canceling headphones!

In a calm voice, I asked them to take their conversation to the back of the plane where the main galley was, with lots of room for them to stand around and chat and they wouldn’t bother anyone. The husband went off on me to the point I thought he might get violent. He would not stop yelling at me. How dare I ask them to quiet down so I and the other passengers around me could get some sleep? His wife joined in on the yelling until she finally got him to go back to their seat. Later when I woke up again, he was back (without his wife)! I guess we wanted to get into it again, but I would not engage.

Stop Torturing Your Kids & Other Passengers!

On my trip back and thinking about everything that happened, I thought to myself “Dave, don’t be a hypocrite”. I thought back to when I first took my kids on an airplane. The first trip was to Hawaii and both of my kids were over 5 years old. To me, this should be the age when they are old enough to understand what is going on and won’t be tortured by being trapped in an airplane for up to 16 hours with very little to do!

Heck, I didn’t really look forward to traveling in the car with my kids when they were little. Even that is a lot for babies and toddlers. As a parent with young children, it’s our responsibility to give up things for the sake of our children, like going to see a movie until they are older. It’s our responsibility to give up traveling, for pleasure, until they are older. These are just a few examples. When we become parents, our lives must change for the sake of our kids.

Expecting kids 5 years old and younger to behave on a trip the length of traveling internationally, to me, is a form of torture for them and the other passengers, for many reasons. They can’t properly pop their ears which will cause pain. Their eating and sleeping schedule will be thrown out of whack, even after the trip. They can’t play at all on the plane. If they are old enough, they can watch the entertainment system, but that won’t keep their attention for a long international trip.

Flying internationally will also expose them to all types of sickness, many they might not have built up an immunity to. Even though I try to be careful, I even got sick when I came back from this trip with a type of flu that I never experienced before that lasted over a week and was bad enough that I couldn’t work for most of that time! I even got sick multiple times on this trip due to the gluten-free food on Emeritus which isn’t 100% gluten-free!

The Solution

I have thought up with a few ways that traveling internationally with little kids could be better. First, for a long time, when a crying kid comes on board, I have always thought that the flight attendants should give parents Baby Benadryl. This would never happen in America and part of me doesn’t like the idea, but the frustrated passenger in me wants it to happen.

No One Rides for Free

Most airlines allow kids 2 years and younger to ride for free. This should be stopped!! If you are a passenger, no matter what age, you should have to buy a seat. Especially since most parents I see are very demanding towards the flight attendants (they even told me so and shared some bad stories), so they cost the airline more to deal with and take away time from other passengers.

On this trip, I got the feeling that some of the parents were taking kids on vacation to a different country before they turn 2 years old, so they don’t have to pay. Why would you want to take a child of that age on a trip for pleasure? They won’t remember it, they will just be a burden and limit the things that the parents could do. Why not leave them at home with a family member or babysitter? Not only will the child like it better, but the parents will have more fun! It makes sense to me.

I’ve told a few people this idea and comment I’ve gotten is “The airlines can’t do that”. Oh yes, they can, it’s their airline. If they want to make every passenger pay, they can. Would they lose business? Maybe, but I would guess they would still have full flights due to more people might take a flight because they won’t have to put up with so many distractions. Just try sleeping when there are one or more babies crying at the same time!

Separate Cabins for Different Ages

Since I doubt that any airline will start charging kids under 2 years old to fly and I am an engineer, on the flight back I modified the cabins in the plane in my head. The plane below is like the planes I took this year to India and Mauritius.

 

International Plane Design

My Redisnged Cabin for International Flights

 

I propose that the back two cabins of the main deck be separated by soundproof walls and doors. Furthermore, since the airline knows the ages of the passengers during the booking process, the parents with kids 6 and under will be divided up into two groups. One for infant to 2 year old toddlers and the second, 2 to 6 year old. This will keep all the crying babies and younger kids that don’t know how to use their “inside” voice or can’t behave on a very long trip. The cabins should also be loaded from back to front. I’m not sure why more airlines don’t do this.

I like this design and I’m sure all the passenger’s first 2 cabins will greatly appreciate it! Now, this won’t take care of rude passengers, but maybe there will be less of them if they can get some rest on their journey. Worth every penny if you ask me.

Summary

Last year I also flew to India and Mauritius (on separate trips) and I do not remember things were this bad. So, in the last year, I have noticed that they have dramatically changed and I’m not sure why. I’m seriously thinking of not ever traveling internationally again, especially on Emeritus.

Since this trip this year, I have talked to a few of my friends about what the reason could be. Some have suggested that it’s the way that the younger parents approach raising kids these days. They have also stated that many families with young kids fly Emeritus since they are cheaper. Not this year, but I have taken other airlines in previous years and I don’t remember it being this bad. But then again, I don’t remember it being this bad last year on Emeritus either. I don’t want to ever take Emeritus again, but now they won’t move my miles earned to Alaska (who I do like)!

I do hope that in the future, I can recover from this PTSD (anxiety) I feel now flying. Do you have an international travel horror story? Please let others know by making a comment below.

Travel Tip: Don’t Eat the Gluten-free Food on Emirates Airlines

In April of this year, I took a trip on Emirates airlines to two countries. Due to my allergy to gluten, whenever I fly, I always request gluten-free meals. This year on my flight from Seattle, Washington to Dubai, United Arab Emirates, they served everyone breakfast before we landed.

None of the gluten-free food on Emirates is very good and this breakfast was mostly eggs and sausages. Not long after I finished, I started getting sick and having to frequently visit the bathroom for long periods of time. By the time we landed, I was nauseous, sweating and very pale. I was also very weak and light-headed.

At the first pharmacy, I could find in the airport, I asked if they have anything that could help me. They gave me ginger pills (something I’ve never tried before) and electrolytes. At the first restaurant I could find, I sat down so I could order some water to take the medication. When the waiter came over to me, the first thing he said was “Are you okay?” and I replied “NO!” and asked for the water.

While I was sitting in the restaurant, since I was still very ill, I was looking around to see if they have any medical facilities at the airport, to have them check me out. I didn’t see any so I decided to go to one of the paid lounges so I could lay down and sleep. I finally found one and had to pay $70 for 4 hours. For that price, you get to drink and eat all you want, but all I wanted was the couch. They also didn’t have any gluten-free food anyway.

I was able to sleep for about 3 hours which helped, but I was still sick when I boarded my next flight. While I was at the airport, I remembered that I got sick last year on the same flight after eating the same breakfast! So, when I got to my destination, I decided to inform Emirates about it, hoping that they would change that breakfast so I and others don’t get sick in the future. I assumed that it was prepared in Seattle, but I don’t know that for sure.

After waiting for a long time for a response, once I got it, I was very let down with it. Emirates has a very good reputation, but I found out on this trip, I don’t feel this way with any of the customer support I received (there were other issues with the trip).

Other than they didn’t get any other reports from passengers on that flight, this is what they said:

Our medical department further advises that you condition may have been affected by other meals consumed before eating onboard or by other factors.

Emirates food production and storage is of the highest quality that is compliant with world standards, and our caterers apply very stringent hygiene control checks in their meal preparation processes. There are thousands of the same meals that are batch produced every day and are continually tested for quality control from the raw state to the final product.

The first sentence tells me that they have no idea how gluten sensitivity works. Since I have been gluten-free for a long time (on the advice of my doctor) I have lost the enzymes to process it. So if I get enough in my system, I get very ill which usually lasts 24 hours. It’s like if a vegetarian eats meat, they also get very ill.

When I do get enough gluten in me, the effect is almost immediate. So them saying that I ate it before I got on board is not a valid response. The next few lines seem to be pretty boiler-plate. None of their response gave me any assurance that this won’t happen again if I ever take their airline again (at this point, I might not and take a different airline next time).

For all the pain and suffering I endured, I was hoping for some miles put on my account or an upgrade to business class on a future flight. They offered nothing. On my way back to America, two of the meals on my flights also made me sick. Not as severe as the first flight.

Three weeks later, I was able to upgrade my flight on Delta Airlines to first class on my trip to Atlanta, Georgia. Not only was their gluten-free breakfast very good…. it didn’t make me sick!

 

 

 

 

 

Online Dating Sucks – Karma’s A Bitch

Here is a story about a first date I had this Memorial Day. At the end of this you might wonder why one would even use online dating. Well, I wonder that to myself all the time.

I first started corresponding with Melodya around April 30th on Match.com. Close to Memorial Day she said yes to my question if she wanted to meet. So we made plans to meet the evening before Memorial Day. Before I continue, I should mention that during the communication we had either on Match or via text messages, her answers were very short… sometimes only one word. She never asked anything about me. Both of these are red flags, but I try not to count someone out when I’ve never meet them.

About 10 minutes before I left to go meet her at a restaurant that she chose, she texted me to say that she couldn’t make it and if we could meet the next day. She gave me an excuse about visiting with a girlfriend too long. Between this and the red flags that were already going off, I decided not to pursue meeting her.

So, mid-afternoon on Memorial Day, she texted asking if we are going to meet. I wasn’t doing anything so I said sure. This time we meet at a restaurant near where I live. After she arrived (late), I started asking the normal first date “interview” questions such as how long she has been on Match and how many has she meet. She answered about two months and she has meet two men.

I then asked how the dates went and she said not good. I asked why and she told me she meet a policeman and she didn’t like him because he was “fat” (his pictures weren’t recent). I asked her, besides him being “fat”, what else was wrong and all she said was it was because he was fat. First off, using the word “fat” it a bit harsh… I would have used overweight. This created the biggest red flag with me which is she is shallow. With her having a brand new, very large breast job, just feed more into this red flag. I won’t date anyone who is shallow.

Our conversation went on mostly consisting of me asking questions and talking. She talked very little and when she did she did not say much. As the date went on I could tell that she wasn’t interested. At one point I almost asked her if we should go our separate ways. She grabbed her purse so I thought she was going to ask me the same thing.

Soon after that she rummaged through her purse and said she forgot her phone in her car. When she left to go get her phone, I knew she wasn’t coming back… and she didn’t. About five minutes later I got a text stating she had to leave because of a family emergency, which is complete bullshit.

That is just not cool! If I don’t think there is a romantic relationship, I figure I might meet a new friend so I always complete the dinner, coffee or whatever because I think that is the right thing to do. I guess not everyone thinks the same because this is the second time it’s happened to me. The first time, right after I greeted my date at a restaurant, she said she had to go to the bathroom and I never saw her again! Not right at all! Just remember Karma’s a bitch!

So, if you meet someone named Melodya on an online dating site, around 41 years old with breasts too large for her frame… RUNAWAY!

Motorcyclists, This Is Why Drivers Hate You

Recently I was driving down highway 5 in San Diego county around 4pm in the afternoon and the traffic was stop and go almost the entire way back to my home. Like most of the time when I’m stuck in traffic like this and in the far left lane, there were motorcyclists were flying down the space in-between my lane and the lane next to me. Unfortunately, California passed a law in 2015 making lane-splitting legal: “Assembly Bill 51, permitting motorcyclist to split lanes so long as they do so at speeds no faster than 50 mph and no faster than 15 mph than traffic in adjacent lanes is moving”. I think they forgot a statement about “…if it’s safe!”

Before I continue, I should point out that I use to be a motorcyclist and never did lane splitting. I have always believed that motorcyclists should obey the same rules of the road as other drivers. Actually, they should be safer drivers than other drivers since riding a motorcycle is much more dangerous. I don’t ride anymore due to California drivers and how poorly they watch out for motorcycles and how some purposely try to hurt motorcyclists. I’ve had a few friends seriously injured due to this.

So before I get hate mail for this blog post, I’m writing it to the 90+ percent or more of motorcyclists that don’t seem to follow any traffic laws. They speed, pop wheelies, weave in and out of traffic for no apparent reason other than they can and have an entitlement attitude.

On my way home that day I had two very dangerous encounters. I decided to write the following to the California Highway Patrol:

Motorcycle-1

CA Partial Plate #: 18H6???

“I am writing because last Thursday while driving back from my doctor, the traffic was really slow. I was in the far left lane and when a motorcyclist came in-between my car and the car in the next lane, he hit my car with his hand on the right front side.  I am assuming he did this because the car next to me and my car were close together and he had trouble getting pass. I was unaware of this since I was paying attention to the traffic in front of me since it was stop and go.

Motorcycle-2

CA Plate #: C275UO

Four minutes later another motorcyclist had the same issue and decided to go down the emergency lane next to me and he almost hit my car too.

I have both of these incidents on video from my dash cam and I have a picture of the first driver’s hand print on my car. I can provide the videos and photos to you if needed. Is there anything can be done about these two incidents, especially the first driver since he hit my car?”

As I’m writing this post, I did get a reply from the CHP asking for the license plate numbers of the motorcyclists which I have provided. So far there hasn’t been a resolution. I will update this post if I find out more information from the CHP.

So motorcyclists, the next time you complain about drivers, maybe you should look at how you drive that speeding bullet because I’m sure it’s why we hate you! My dash cam will be pointed at you recording your illegal driving!

Some Bicyclists Have A Death Wish

Before I get a lot of hate mail, this post is aimed towards “some” bicyclists that seem to be not very smart… not all bicyclists. Every so often I take Manchester Ave between El Camino Real and Encinitas Blvd in Encinitas, California. As a driver, I never look forward to this stretch of road since there are many blind turns (see below) and barely enough room for two cars. I worry about a car not taking a turn well and hitting my car in the process. There is also absolutely no shoulder on this road either.

RoadEvery time I’m on this road, usually during the weekend, I see many bicyclists on it too. Yes, I know bicyclists have just as much right to be on this road as I do, but there is absolutely no room for both a car and a bicyclist! As you can see from this picture, there is no bike lane either.

When I see a bicyclist on this road I wonder if they have a death wish. If someone hasn’t died on this road it will happen sooner or later. There have been many injuries and I’m sure there will be many more.

There are other roads to take to and from the ocean in this area, sure it will take longer to cycle, but isn’t exercise the point? So the next time you, a bicyclist, wants to take this road, I hope you think again. It’s not worth your life!

Memorial Day – Remember The True Meaning

I know everyone wants a day off, a reason to party, wants so save a few bucks on a product they most likely don’t need, but please try to remember the true meaning of Memorial Day. It’s about the men and women who have died while serving in the military.

I served in the military for 6 1/2 years and am very proud that I did. I know our country has issues and could be better but we still live in the greatest country in the world. I feel its everyone duty to give back to make it even better.

It angers me when people do things like burn the flag! If you don’t like it here then I will be more than happy to pay for a plane ticket to send you to a different country! I’ve been to many countries that made me appreciate the United States a lot more. People in many countries don’t have anywhere near the freedoms that we do or the ability to get out of poverty by going to school etc. In the Philippines I meet women that were prostitutes just so they could earn money to send family members to school. I’m not talking about sending them to college, they have to pay just to attend high school.

It also angers me when people do everything they can to get out of their civic duty like being on jury duty. I’ve been on seven juries and take it very seriously. I do this because if there is ever a day when I am a defendant in court, I hope that there are twelve people there that take it as seriously as I do.

Every American should make it a priority to give back to their community every month. There are endless opportunities. I just ended twenty years of founding and running a non-profit group that provided education to help people in their careers to improve their and their families lives better.

So get off the couch and start giving back to make the United States better. If you don’t, you have nothing to complain about!

I created a heavy, rocking CD for someone I knew who was an Army Ranger (Tyler Holtz). Before I could burn it for him he was shot and killed in Afghanistan in September 2012. Sorry Tyler, I hope you have iTunes up there. Here is the list:

Confrontation –  Otep
Die Hard The Hunter – Def Leppard
Gods Of War – Def Leppard
If I Were King – Queensrÿche
Indestructible  – Disturbed
Sliver – Queensrÿche
Soldiers of Misfortune – Filter
Taliman – Uncle Junkie
These Colours Don’t Run – Iron Maiden
War (The Process) – The Cult
War Machine -AC/DC
War Pigs – Black Sabbath
Warheads – Extreme
Warrior – Kid Rock

Thanks for the great music Otep, Def Leppard, Queensrÿche & Queensryche, Disturbed, Filter, Uncle Junkie, Iron Maiden, The Cult, Black Sabbath, Extreme – The Band and Kid Rock!

 

How To Know If You Are A Cat Lady

Women, before you get upset with me, this applies to males too! So if you are wondering if you are a cat lady, answer the questions below on how you post profile text and/or pictures on online dating sites:

  1. Do you post pictures of you and animal?
  2. Do you post pictures of your animal (you are not in the picture)?
  3. Is your animal your best friend?
  4. Does your headline/ tag line say “Must Love Dogs”, “Must Love My Dog” or something similar?
  5. Can you not sleep at night without your animal or your animal can’t sleep without you?
  6. Do you have to rush home every x number of hours to feed, see or take your animal out for a piss?

If you answered even YES to ONE of these questions… YOU ARE A CAT LADY. Give it up and take your profile down from all online dating sites. You are too far gone and there is no recovery.

Customer Service Failure: Vons

Last weekend I received an email from Vons to get a free delivery from their home delivery service. Since I was stuck working all weekend, I thought I’d save some time and take them up on their offer. I have used their service before when I was unable to make it to the store. Once I went to their website I quickly remembered how slow and difficult using their site is. The following is what I wrote them:

“I’m writing about your shopping online. To save some time I thought I would make an order (not my first time). But it took so long and was so frustrating that I gave up. It would be faster just to drive to the store.

I’m a software developer and know that you are using a framework that is no longer supported and has been out of date for over 10 years!

I might use it when I have to (such as recovering from surgery) but won’t for anything else.”

Here is their reply:

“We apologize for the delay in responding to your e-mail. 

Thank you for providing us with the error message you received. Our records do indicate that we were experiencing web site technical difficulties at the time you reported this issue and the matter has been resolved. ”

What? I don’t think anyone actually read my comment. This sounds like an automated response. I don’t think they have a clue on what customer service is at all! The issue is not “technical difficulties” at all, it’s the crappy website design using a framework that has not been used for over 13 years! Hire a new CTO Vons!!!

How to Watch the Super Bowl More Efficiently

Here are my easy steps on how to watch the Super Bowl more efficiently:

  1. Setup your DVR to record the game.
  2. Don’t start watching the game until it’s been on for one to two hours. Go enjoy a walk on the beach, get your drink on, go watch a movie or what I prefer to do is to do my weekly grocery shopping when it comes on.
  3. Start watching the recorded game from your DVR.
  4. Use the fast forward button and only stop when: you see the score change (back up about one minute), when the commercials are on (to see how good or bad they are) and during the half-time show (of course if that sucks, you can just keep fast forwarding).
  5. By the time you catch up with the live game, there will only be five to ten minutes left.
  6. Watch the rest of the game since the only exciting part is the last few plays. Of course if it’s a blow out, delete the recording and go do something else more productive with your life than sitting on the couch!

Of course, always remember to not drink and drive! I’m sure the cops are out in force.

Kids, Please Listen to your Parents

I posted this today on Facebook, thought it needed to be on the web too:

Attention young people… PLEASE listen to your parents when it comes to limiting your sun exposure AND using UV protection! Like you, I didn’t when I was your age and now (like many others) I’m paying the price. When you are my age you don’t want to be dealing with skin cancer (or the possibility of it) which is not fun can lead to death. I know you think you will never make it past 30, but you will. Learn from us!

Resources: http://www.skincancer.org/skin-cancer-information/skin-cancer-facts

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