All the protests about the police and Black Lives Matter in the United States in 2020 has reminded me of a story that happened over 20 years ago where I was called a racist. I’d like to share that story now.
Way back when my son Paul was in 3rd or 4th grade, I was at home and he and his friend ran into our home and told me that a man was chasing them. They told me that there was a man in a car that was trying to get them to stop and talk to him. I can’t remember if that man was yelling or not, but Paul did exactly what I taught him. He ran away and came home!
I asked Paul what happened, and he told me that he and his friend called a black girl, from his class, the “N” word (sorry, I don’t want to use the actual word) when they were walking home. I guess she went home and told her father. Her father, who was a police officer, decided to get in his personal car, wearing street clothes, to track Paul and his friend down. I still have no idea why he decided to do that or what his end goal with that was. Since Paul ran away from him, he decided to go tell his school.
Then I got a call from the school that we had to go in for a meeting about it and this is where the story goes in a bad direction. Paul, his mother, and I arrived at the meeting early. When the girl’s parents come into the room, the first thing out of their mouth was that I and Pauls mother was a racist and we taught Paul the “N” word and to be racist. I got very upset because I could not believe someone was calling me a racist.
When I was a small child, I grew up on the east coast of America. I have always felt that that area is a lot more racist then where I live now. My relatives and even my parents might have taught me about racism, but I don’t know now that I am older. I do remember, when my family moved to Flagstaff, Arizona I felt that people there were less racist, so I worked hard when I was in the 5th grade to change. Even though there was a lot of racism going on when I served in the US Navy, from all sides, I have worked hard ever since I have lived in California to be less racist. Let’s face it, everyone is a racist, one way or the other. It’s what you do with what you were taught is the most important part.
Currently, I feel I have done a decent job on changing how I think about other races to the point now that I don’t see color, I try to see the person. I think my very first girlfriend in 7th grade was half black and Mexican. Most of my dates or girlfriends since I have been divorced were with non-white women. Even both of my kids’ partners are of color and all three of my grandkids are of color! At work, I am the only white person in my team, and they have even made me an honorary Pilipino!
So, when this girl’s parent called me a racist, it upset me. I did push back on the girl’s parents and the vice-principal and told them that Paul’s mother and I never use racist words at home. Heck, we didn’t even curse around the kids. We wanted them to learn not to use any of those words.
I told everyone in the room that Paul learned those words from other kids at his school. Also, the reason Paul even said the “N” word was that the black kids in the school use that word all the time. He was simply copying them. His mother and I didn’t even know he even knew that word, otherwise, we would have had a talk with him, which we did after this event happened. After all this, Paul still received an in-school suspension. I thought this was an overreaction, just to make the other parents happy.
In the end, I was upset we were called racists when the parents didn’t even know us! That is like me calling them a criminal just because they are black! So, I know first hand how people just jump to conclusions without knowing the facts. My wish, that I don’t see happening right now, is that everyone would do the same thing. There are always two sides to every story. I believe that if both sides tried to understand where the other side is coming from, there might be better outcomes. When one side just starts yelling, the other side either shuts down or put up walls to defend themselves; as I did in this situation.
For most of my life, I’ve avoided shopping for Christmas gifts in December. The biggest reason is that people focus on the gifts and not what Christmas is all about. They are pushy, mean, stressed out and more and it just kills my Christmas spirit.
Because of this, every year my goal is to have the gifts purchased by my birthday which is at the end of November. Even way, way back when I was in the U.S. Navy, I would take my birthday off and do all of my shopping for Christmas. After the Navy, I would take my birthday off of work and do the same. This way I could focus on the spirit of Christmas and avoid the shoppers in December that killed my spirit.
On this Christmas eve, I’m reminded of one Christmas eve when my kids were small (they are adults now). In those early years, my wife (now ex-wife) and I didn’t have a lot of money for gifts. Like most Americans, we lived paycheck to paycheck. When it was getting close to Christmas, my wife won $1,000 from a local radio station (complaining about me).
On that Christmas eve, she went to Toys-R-Us to get last-minute gifts for the kids. When she came home I was surprised because she had no bags with her. She told me that the power when out at the store, so she came home.
Since I don’t like shopping during Christmas, I jumped into action, grabbed my flashlight and dashed to Toys-R-Us! There was hardly anyone at the store, so I grabbed a shopping cart and grabbed all the gifs we wanted for the kids! Since the checkout didn’t rely on the internet back then, I was able to pay for the gifts and get home pretty quickly.
I spent all night wrapping the gifts and the kids had a pretty good Christmas! Thanks to 91X and my ex-wife for complaining about me on air!
Merry Christmas everyone!
I have been living near the beach in San Diego, California for most of my life. The beaches here are beautiful and a big attraction for tourists. Below is a link to my ocean and beach photography, most taken in and around San Diego.
Click on the photo below to see some of the flower photography I have done, mostly around the San Diego area. All photos are available for purchase.
Click on the picture below to view some of the nature photography I have done, some have even won awards! All photos are available for purchase.
On the 16th – 18th of September, the second annual KAABOO festival was held at the fair grounds in Del Mar, California. I did photography for the festival. Click here or the image below to see the photos and videos I took.
Here is the video:
Here is a story about a first date I had this Memorial Day. At the end of this you might wonder why one would even use online dating. Well, I wonder that to myself all the time.
I first started corresponding with Melodya around April 30th on Match.com. Close to Memorial Day she said yes to my question if she wanted to meet. So we made plans to meet the evening before Memorial Day. Before I continue, I should mention that during the communication we had either on Match or via text messages, her answers were very short… sometimes only one word. She never asked anything about me. Both of these are red flags, but I try not to count someone out when I’ve never meet them.
About 10 minutes before I left to go meet her at a restaurant that she chose, she texted me to say that she couldn’t make it and if we could meet the next day. She gave me an excuse about visiting with a girlfriend too long. Between this and the red flags that were already going off, I decided not to pursue meeting her.
So, mid-afternoon on Memorial Day, she texted asking if we are going to meet. I wasn’t doing anything so I said sure. This time we meet at a restaurant near where I live. After she arrived (late), I started asking the normal first date “interview” questions such as how long she has been on Match and how many has she meet. She answered about two months and she has meet two men.
I then asked how the dates went and she said not good. I asked why and she told me she meet a policeman and she didn’t like him because he was “fat” (his pictures weren’t recent). I asked her, besides him being “fat”, what else was wrong and all she said was it was because he was fat. First off, using the word “fat” it a bit harsh… I would have used overweight. This created the biggest red flag with me which is she is shallow. With her having a brand new, very large breast job, just feed more into this red flag. I won’t date anyone who is shallow.
Our conversation went on mostly consisting of me asking questions and talking. She talked very little and when she did she did not say much. As the date went on I could tell that she wasn’t interested. At one point I almost asked her if we should go our separate ways. She grabbed her purse so I thought she was going to ask me the same thing.
Soon after that she rummaged through her purse and said she forgot her phone in her car. When she left to go get her phone, I knew she wasn’t coming back… and she didn’t. About five minutes later I got a text stating she had to leave because of a family emergency, which is complete bullshit.
That is just not cool! If I don’t think there is a romantic relationship, I figure I might meet a new friend so I always complete the dinner, coffee or whatever because I think that is the right thing to do. I guess not everyone thinks the same because this is the second time it’s happened to me. The first time, right after I greeted my date at a restaurant, she said she had to go to the bathroom and I never saw her again! Not right at all! Just remember Karma’s a bitch!
So, if you meet someone named Melodya on an online dating site, around 41 years old with breasts too large for her frame… RUNAWAY!
Recently I was driving down highway 5 in San Diego county around 4pm in the afternoon and the traffic was stop and go almost the entire way back to my home. Like most of the time when I’m stuck in traffic like this and in the far left lane, there were motorcyclists were flying down the space in-between my lane and the lane next to me. Unfortunately, California passed a law in 2015 making lane-splitting legal: “Assembly Bill 51, permitting motorcyclist to split lanes so long as they do so at speeds no faster than 50 mph and no faster than 15 mph than traffic in adjacent lanes is moving”. I think they forgot a statement about “…if it’s safe!”
Before I continue, I should point out that I use to be a motorcyclist and never did lane splitting. I have always believed that motorcyclists should obey the same rules of the road as other drivers. Actually, they should be safer drivers than other drivers since riding a motorcycle is much more dangerous. I don’t ride anymore due to California drivers and how poorly they watch out for motorcycles and how some purposely try to hurt motorcyclists. I’ve had a few friends seriously injured due to this.
So before I get hate mail for this blog post, I’m writing it to the 90+ percent or more of motorcyclists that don’t seem to follow any traffic laws. They speed, pop wheelies, weave in and out of traffic for no apparent reason other than they can and have an entitlement attitude.
On my way home that day I had two very dangerous encounters. I decided to write the following to the California Highway Patrol:
“I am writing because last Thursday while driving back from my doctor, the traffic was really slow. I was in the far left lane and when a motorcyclist came in-between my car and the car in the next lane, he hit my car with his hand on the right front side. I am assuming he did this because the car next to me and my car were close together and he had trouble getting pass. I was unaware of this since I was paying attention to the traffic in front of me since it was stop and go.
Four minutes later another motorcyclist had the same issue and decided to go down the emergency lane next to me and he almost hit my car too.
I have both of these incidents on video from my dash cam and I have a picture of the first driver’s hand print on my car. I can provide the videos and photos to you if needed. Is there anything can be done about these two incidents, especially the first driver since he hit my car?”
As I’m writing this post, I did get a reply from the CHP asking for the license plate numbers of the motorcyclists which I have provided. So far there hasn’t been a resolution. I will update this post if I find out more information from the CHP.
So motorcyclists, the next time you complain about drivers, maybe you should look at how you drive that speeding bullet because I’m sure it’s why we hate you! My dash cam will be pointed at you recording your illegal driving!
Before I get a lot of hate mail, this post is aimed towards “some” bicyclists that seem to be not very smart… not all bicyclists. Every so often I take Manchester Ave between El Camino Real and Encinitas Blvd in Encinitas, California. As a driver, I never look forward to this stretch of road since there are many blind turns (see below) and barely enough room for two cars. I worry about a car not taking a turn well and hitting my car in the process. There is also absolutely no shoulder on this road either.
Every time I’m on this road, usually during the weekend, I see many bicyclists on it too. Yes, I know bicyclists have just as much right to be on this road as I do, but there is absolutely no room for both a car and a bicyclist! As you can see from this picture, there is no bike lane either.
When I see a bicyclist on this road I wonder if they have a death wish. If someone hasn’t died on this road it will happen sooner or later. There have been many injuries and I’m sure there will be many more.
There are other roads to take to and from the ocean in this area, sure it will take longer to cycle, but isn’t exercise the point? So the next time you, a bicyclist, wants to take this road, I hope you think again. It’s not worth your life!
I know everyone wants a day off, a reason to party, wants so save a few bucks on a product they most likely don’t need, but please try to remember the true meaning of Memorial Day. It’s about the men and women who have died while serving in the military.
I served in the military for 6 1/2 years and am very proud that I did. I know our country has issues and could be better but we still live in the greatest country in the world. I feel its everyone duty to give back to make it even better.
It angers me when people do things like burn the flag! If you don’t like it here then I will be more than happy to pay for a plane ticket to send you to a different country! I’ve been to many countries that made me appreciate the United States a lot more. People in many countries don’t have anywhere near the freedoms that we do or the ability to get out of poverty by going to school etc. In the Philippines I meet women that were prostitutes just so they could earn money to send family members to school. I’m not talking about sending them to college, they have to pay just to attend high school.
It also angers me when people do everything they can to get out of their civic duty like being on jury duty. I’ve been on seven juries and take it very seriously. I do this because if there is ever a day when I am a defendant in court, I hope that there are twelve people there that take it as seriously as I do.
Every American should make it a priority to give back to their community every month. There are endless opportunities. I just ended twenty years of founding and running a non-profit group that provided education to help people in their careers to improve their and their families lives better.
So get off the couch and start giving back to make the United States better. If you don’t, you have nothing to complain about!
I created a heavy, rocking CD for someone I knew who was an Army Ranger (Tyler Holtz). Before I could burn it for him he was shot and killed in Afghanistan in September 2012. Sorry Tyler, I hope you have iTunes up there. Here is the list:
Confrontation – Otep
Die Hard The Hunter – Def Leppard
Gods Of War – Def Leppard
If I Were King – Queensrÿche
Indestructible – Disturbed
Sliver – Queensrÿche
Soldiers of Misfortune – Filter
Taliman – Uncle Junkie
These Colours Don’t Run – Iron Maiden
War (The Process) – The Cult
War Machine -AC/DC
War Pigs – Black Sabbath
Warheads – Extreme
Warrior – Kid Rock
Thanks for the great music Otep, Def Leppard, Queensrÿche & Queensryche, Disturbed, Filter, Uncle Junkie, Iron Maiden, The Cult, Black Sabbath, Extreme – The Band and Kid Rock!