This is for all of you women who use online dating services such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals just to name a few. When you join you will of course get more interest if you upload pictures of yourself, but you need to take some time before you do to consider what message you are trying to convey and what man you are trying to attract. I see all too often horrible pictures and even ones that just flat-out disgust me. Now I’m writing this from a man’s point of view and also take into account that I’m also a photographer. I was going to post examples, but figured I would get in trouble, so below I’m going to list what I see wrong with pictures and or the message.
- Don’t post pictures of your kids! The number one thing that I believe is wrong and actually upsets me since I am also a father is posting pictures of you and your (minor) children or just of them! Really? Have you any idea of how many sick people are out there that might be more interested in kids and will use you to get to them? Come on! I’ve actually had arguments with women about this that just totally blew my mind that she didn’t get this?! It’s your job to protect your kids and my policy is I never post a picture of my minor child online in any way!
- Smile! I see so many pictures where women are not smiling. I can’t figure out if they are having a bad day or just don’t like to smile. Either way DO NOT POST THEM! I believe that many women are doing that runway model frown or pouty look… well believe me, unless you are a runway model you can’t pull this off! Stop it! We like to see you smiling
- Show Off Your Eyes! The eyes are the window to the soul, so why do you insist on wearing sunglasses or squinting so we can’t see them? When you do this it seems you have something to hide… we will click on to the next profile.
- Make Sure We Can See you! So many pictures are too small or you are too small in them. I see pictures taken in the sun when its behind you and we can’t see you at all! Just a silhouette. Pictures of you and your girlfriends makes it hard to find you (especially when you look the same) and you are a minor part of the picture. Just please make sure you take up 70% of the photo or more and are well lighted!
- Careful On What You Are Wearing! Take note of what you are wearing in the picture. Bathing suites, lingerie, bras, showing as much cleavage as possible might not attract the man you are looking for. As a matter of fact, I will guarantee it will attract the wrong one unless alcoholics, losers, perverts are what you are looking for!
- Always Post More Than One Picture! When someone has only one, this is a good sign that it’s a scam (someone looking to cheat money out of us or prostitution) or someone grabbed a photo off the internet and is messing with us (a teenager or a 50-year-old pervert pretending to be a hot young chick).
- Minimize Pictures Of Your Pets! We are not on a dating site to date your pets; we are there to date you! In general we really don’t care about your pets. So, if most of the pictures are you and your pet or just of your pet… then you are just a few short steps away from being a “cat lady”. This screams “runaway” in our minds! Just put in your profile what you have pets, that is enough.
- No Men In Your Picture! Make sure there aren’t any men in your picture unless you can write a caption to explain who it is (which Match.com doesn’t allow). Sure this might seem insecure, but what would you think if we posted a picture with our arms around a hot blond? Think about it. Also don’t try to cut ex’s out of a pic, it’s too obvious. Babies are a no-no too.
- Get Your Pictures Professionally Done! If you are serious and online dating and attracting the man of your dreams, then get your pictures done by a professional or someone who knows what they are doing. I don’t mean a place like Glamour Shots either, we all know those pictures are not real and ignore them. One of the best profile pictures I ever saw was from a woman that hired a photographer and shot them in Balboa Park as the sun was going down. No hair and makeup crew, just nice “real” pictures.
I will keep adding to this list. I hope you take my words to heart, if you don’t and for some strange reason you keep getting emails or winks by losers, alcoholics, liars, cheaters and worse, then I warned you!